top of page

Is it weakness for a guy to ask for help?

Updated: Sep 19, 2022

It seems it's innate in guys not to seek counsel and help.

I know a guy who always tells me "on God" when I ask him, "how far?".

I'll then marvel when a friend finally begins to open up (well he graciously, finally does), yet, he will slip back to the cliche "on God."

I met the first girl I liked while I was in dormitory in high school. She was brilliant & beautiful. I was charmed by her calmness and humility. Then...

I became the senior prefect and she, the deputy. I became the fellowship president and somehow, someway she was my vice. Although we'd been friends before all these, yet my "school mother" had said "love" will distract us from our duties and studies. We were not dating but some assumed we were (I can't just understand why humans assume a lot). Well, that made us the famous seniors and prefects. I was shy and could hardly look a girl in the eyes. My roommates would ask me if I'd told her I love her; and I shyly told them I had not.

We visited a senior fellowship friend, we called him, Uncle Izuchukwu. One day, we paid a visit to his office, and he affirmed the rumours about Priscilla and myself in school and asked if truly we were dating. To Priscilla's surprise, I explained to Uncle Izu that we were friends but I was struggling in the friendship & I'd been considering staying away from her because of the rumours. In a subtle manner, Uncle Izu encouraged me not quit the friendship because of what others are saying. Even duty made us inseparable while performing our duties, yet I created so much boundary that discouraged emotional connections, even though I liked her. Yet till today, Priscillia and I are still close friends.

Well, you might read this and give me names or think I was not cool enough. Yet remember that our immediate families, our religious affiliations and environment form and shape our world-views. Also, consider that growing up in Africa, boys that expose their vulnerability to others are deemed weak and not masculine. But...

If you had met me in high school, how would you have encouraged a guy like me to speak up? Is it okay for dudes to be vulnerable to others? What's the impact of that to a man's self esteem?

Most of our fathers went through difficult, depressing times and their families & the society did not have a clue or did not care. It got so bad, we all came up with, "boys don't cry".

Is that true?

Are men a product of their past? Don't you think if guys open and speak up, they'd be better fathers, husbands and leaders? Should I have asked Uncle Izu, for help?

Do you think the society is even willing to listen and understand to the struggles men experience? How do male teenagers and young men, know the who and when to be vulnerable?

What do you think?

Written by: Oduogu Victor

Editor: Onwuatuelo Chisom & Director of Communication, InvisibleOne Inc.

Story/Analogy: Nonfiction.

10 views0 comments
bottom of page